Confused

Yes, I'm a bit bummed out because of what's going on at Ethan's school. The teacher said that Ethan has difficulties keeping his hands to himself. What is this world coming to when I have to teach my child that he is not allow to hug and kiss someone outside of his family. How am I going to explain to Ethan that he is not allowed to be compassionate or affectionate with his peer? I received a note from school this past Friday and it stated that Ethan's been doing a lot of stuff that was not appropriate. The note stated that Ethan grabbed Aydan's fingers, pushed Shayan from his chair, and gave another boy a kiss on his cheeks. Ethan is one of two kids with Down but all of the other children are regular with delayed learning. My quick reaction was to question the fact that we have Ethan in school. When we were informed that Ethan was getting too old to continue with his in-home early intervention program, my husband and I were very apprehensive about letting Ethan be in someone else’s care. We knew that the day would come where we have to allow Ethan to be with other children and learn to be self sufficient. I just want to be with Ethan 24/7 but I know that it’s not the best solution for my baby boy. My husband and I thought that by placing Ethan in a learning environment with other children, our son would learn and grow. Now, I'm pretty doubtful of our decision just because of the behavior that Ethan is displaying. Ethan loves to imitate so I wonder if Ethan is in a better environment when he is with others. I know that the teacher had mentioned that this new behavior just started when Ethan returned from the Thanksgiving break...I'm really watching how my son is reacting when he is at home and when he is with others. I know that I can't be there to protect my son every moment of his life but this in not making me feel good knowing that my son would be restricted to be himself!

Today, the teacher’s assistance commented on how Ethan can take care of himself. She said that it doesn’t matter if the other person is big or small; Ethan is not hesitating to stand his ground and defend it! Oh my goodness, is my boy a brute? I know that he does not have a mean bone in his body but I also know that he does not like to be bothered when he is trying to be independent. Ethan is learning to be self sufficient; he likes to feel like a big boy. Ethan loves to do things on his own…putting on and taking off his clothes, closing and opening the doors, flushing the toilet, opening and closing a container, brushing his teeth, taking off and putting on his shoes, writing and drawing with a magic marker, pen and pencil, climbing and jumping off of the couch, touching our faces, kissing and hugging on his own without any prompting, running away from us so that we could catch him, pouring rice on the floor and playing with them, pouring the water spout on the water cooler (this drives me crazy because I have no way to lock this thing), turning on and off his portable DVD player, and just being his curious self. How can I punish Ethan without making him feel that he is not loved? I know, I know, I’m more incline to be protective and smothering of Ethan…just because!

November was so rough for my baby boy and it is not an excuse that I am using to be so affectionate to my son. He went to the ER three times and we had the EMS folks over at the house once. I wish that Ethan could be one of those snow birds so that he could fly south for the winter. Well, I wish that we could all be snow birds so that we could be in Thailand during the winter months. Oh wouldn’t it be so perfect if we were on a tropical island somewhere right now?

In his three years of life, my boy has gone through more than most adults have. Even so, Ethan is pure joy to watch and marvel at. It’s taken some people a life time to learn to be empathetic, compassionate, loving, kind, sincere, happy, pure hearted and everything that my son is…a child of God. I pray for others to be more understanding, more tolerant and more accepting of something that is meant to be good. Ethan is God’s gift to us and I am thankful that God has plans for Ethan. I know that Ethan was given to me to make a difference in all the lives that he has touched. I know that my angel was given the opportunity to make a huge impact in all the lives that he will touch. For now, I just have to be his mother and teach him all that is good. Words can not describe how I feel about why my son has a special place in my heart…all that I know is how truly blessed I feel when I glazed upon Ethan’s face.