Extraordinary Gift of Motherhood

 

 Extraordinary Privilege posted on May 19, 2011.  Not only has it been an extraordinary privilege, but it's been an extraordinary blessing to be their mother.  It hasn’t been easy but nothing worth having ever come easy.  

My husband said that I am a great mother…if you know my husband, he’s not a man with many flowery words but coming from him, it’s definitely a huge compliment.  What he meant was that he knows how much I love our children & that I would do the very best for them.  I told him that he too was a wonderful father…yes, we were in one of those mood.  Every now and then, I just love to take a step back to just savor each precious moment & reflect on our accomplishments.  No, our accomplishments are our children.  They are our reflection of the love & dedication that both my husband and I have promised one another…seeing how much our children treasure one another only makes our hearts even more content (if one can be more than just content). 

Being a mother is a gift that most women take for granted.  I am so thankful that I was given this opportunity…to learn, to grow, to love, and to get as close to heaven as possible on earth.  I don’t want to sound like a broken record or that it’s a cliché; however, without some of the extraordinary women in my life, I would not have known what was best “to do or not to do” as a mother. 

Rain or Shine...can't stop us

My children love the beach but unfortunately, it was really cold this past weekend for us to spend a day running around.   Be it rain or shine, nothing could have put a damper on their spirits!  I loved sharing each precious moments with my family…can’t ask for anything more. 

Well, I do long for when my family and I are able to spend our days together.  I dream of walking along the gentle shoreline, picking up little pebbles & throwing them into the ocean, counting the waves as they hit the rocks, and watching an amazing sun set over the horizon.  And oh to be able to drink fresh young coconut juice, stop at every step to see what’s on the ground, chase after birds as if we too could fly, and to embrace the soft ocean breeze as I sit, listen and watch my children at play.   

 

The musical sound of their laughter would take my breath away and the smile on their faces would make me realized that all is well with the world, that all is well with my world.

Having a daughter

Oh how much I just LOVE having the opportunities to do mother-daughter stuff.  

I remember that in years passed, someone was so adamant about NOT wanting to have a daughter.   That person who insisted that hell would freeze over if she was to have a girl (she was quite blunt about her disgust of how I had spoiled MY daughter).  I don’t know if knowing that her own mother did not want to have another child (her) was the root of her fear (I’m not a psychologist).   Or that she was not ready to be a parent herself but the choices that she had made put her in that situation.  

All that I remember was that one of her reason of NOT wanting a daughter was because she felt that my husband and I spoiled our precious baby girl.  Imagine that?  Parents spoiling their child, be it a girl or a boy!  At that time, my daughter was about two but I paid her no mind to that negative vibe.  Maybe she did not feel that she was blessed enough to be given the privilege of being a mother to a daughter.  Unlike me, she may have never had that struggle of conceiving.  Unlike me, she was blatant of her hatred towards my relationship with my daughter.  Unlike me, I prayed for so many years for a child to love.  

My husband and I were over the moon when we found out that we were expecting.  Anyhow, I prayed for that person to be blessed with one of her own so that she may have a change of heart.  My husband had already warned me that others would never see the goodness in someone else IF they don’t have that goodness in them.  I guess I’m more hopeful that others would appreciate the gift of a daughter’s unconditional love once they’ve gotten the opportunity.

For me, growing up without having my mother’s involvement with trivial “teenager” stuff like my first crush, my first love, shopping for a homecoming dress, a prom dress, making decisions about what classes to take in high school, making decisions about religion, or choosing what college to attend…makes it even more important for me to do this with my daughter.  I’m not faulting my mother for not having the opportunity to share my life’s growing pains but I am thankful because through these experiences, it has made me who I am as a mother (or how I want to be as a mother).

Next blog…I will post my daughter’s prom dresses.  Yes, we went crazy shopping and I gave her three choices to choose from…all of the dresses were just perfect; however, I can’t wait until she finally decides on which one to wear!

It's Christmas time

Santa Time at the Northern Virginia Down Syndrome Association's Christmas Party

Sleep Study

Getting Ready For A Good Night Sleep

Sweet Dreams My Baby Boy

  

Today is our result day...yes, I've been waiting to meet with my son's doctor regarding the sleep study test that was performed last month.  The anticipation is nerve wrecking but I hope that all is well. 

Morning After The Test, Happy As A Clam

My precious boy has had a history of snoring, sleeplessness/restlessness, and at times he would gag for air in the middle of the night.  We’ve made several attempts to get him into this study; however, situations would never allow us to have one.  So finally, we’ve been able to schedule this test and I’m a bit anxious to get the results.  Wish us luck!

IEP goals for the 2012-2013 school year

 Individualized Education Program goals...a mouthful and a bit intimidating. How does one go about in creating goals/objectives or benchmarks for a child who has been determined to have special needs? Granted that I believe that my precious boy is truly capable of accomplishing amazing tasks, I also want every opportunity for this my Ethan to grow.  We are really fortunate to have a team of professionals who are true advocates of Ethan’s educational needs, both in academic, developmental & functional areas.

As parents, our primary concerns are with his overall delays in the communication area; however, we are confident that Ethan will meet & exceed our expectations with hard work, determination and dedication.  Although communication is a major concern, we also are hoping that Ethan would develop a sound understanding of self-care/management skills such as dressing himself, using the washroom/bathroom independently, eating & cleaning up after himself.  We believe that these skills would enable Ethan to be more productive in the general school curriculum and also the social environment.

 

At four, my sweetie has a profound skill of remembering and imitating activities.  Ethan loves being with people, but he is more receptive to working with a small group or better yet, a one-on-one situation.  Ethan is confident to try new things and is not afraid to jump head first.  He is very determined (a good way of saying that he is stubborn) but he is oh so loving.  Ethan is very sensitive to other’s well-being and is able to be gentle when need be.  Ethan loves to count from 1 to 10 and also recite his ABCs (he tends to skip D & T) but will say with pride what he is able to.  Ethan loves music – he would try and sing a song but it is the cutest thing to watch his lips mouth the words to the song.  Ethan also would prefer to dance to any songs if given the opportunity.  Ethan will take an eternity to do anything that we’ve asked of him (if he doesn’t want to do it) but will be quick as lightening if it’s something that he wants to do.  Ethan love so much and I’m glad that he does.  I don’t ever want to introduce to my baby the meaning of hatred, bitterness, despair, disappointment, ugliness, etc.  I thank God every day that this little boy knows happiness and love.

Laos/Thai/Cambodian New Year 2012

Amazing how fortunate I am to be able to celebrate a "new year" three times a year!  Sounds funny, huh?  I guess I really have never thought about "traditions & customs" until I became a mother. 

My father was born in northern Thailand and my mother was born in Vietnam.  I was born in Laos so having many "traditions" to influence my life became more of a blessing to me now that I'm adult.  Growing up in Laos, our family was not well to do.  We were not poor, but we were not rich either.  My father had another family and he rarely spent time with my family.  My mother was forced to work, so she left me and my other siblings in the care of a nanny.  

Growing up in Laos and Thailand, we never had an opportunity to celebrate birthdays and we rarely celebrated our Chinese/Vietnamese New Year or Laos/Thai New Year.  My aunt, who lives in France now, celebrated Chinese/Vietnamese New Year by having food offerings for our ancestors and dinner for the family at her home.  For years, my mother said that she never had any reasons to have one of our own since my aunt would already have "done it for our ancestors".  I think that the only time we did do something like this at home was when I was in the fifth grade living in Herndon.  

When I met my husband, I was so excited that his mother practices these customs and traditions.  For Chinese/Vietnamese New Year (around late January to early February), she would prepare a huge feast to feed fifty folks!  The house would have been cleaned prior to "THE DAY".  Food, tea and alcohol would have been placed on the dining room table as offerings to our ancestors.  We would then pray to them to let them know that they are still remembered.  Then we would ask for good education for our children, great prosperity, good health and happiness for our family.  After the incense sticks burned down to nothing, we would then be free to eat.  We would always have noodle dishes, steamed pork buns, quail egg soup, roast duck, broiled chicken, broiled pork, tons of dessert and plenty of laughter at the table.  One thing that never ceases to amaze me is that we (the adult kids) would rustle for the chicken liver; don't ask why it just tastes better on this day.

I always wait with anticipation to having this DAY be THE moment to share with those who are dear to me, no matter how busy life gets, this day seems to just make everything perfect.  Of course, the day is not complete without passing out red envelops with fresh crisp money to our children and then a round of card games for the adults.  I love this custom especially being able to feel a sense of togetherness.  This feeling of belonging, being loved, and being hopeful is what I really wish to pass onto my children.  

These past few years, my mother-in-law has not spent Chinese/Vietnamese New Year with us.  She's been spending her New Year in Thailand; however, in order to keep this custom going, I still would prepare for the New Year for my little family.  I loved watching Marisa and Ethan follow our example when we would kneel to pray to our ancestors and then sit around the table to wait to eat.  One thing that puts a smile on my face after a long preparation is to watch my little boy try to blow out the candle and incense.  I hope to instill the value of respect, love, tradition, and family to my children.  I hope to be able to get my mother-in-laws' recipes right and then create new customs & traditions for my children to pass on.  

In early April, we are fortunate to celebrate Laos/Thai/Cambodian New Year.  Since we live in an area with so many Buddhist Temples, we would attempt to go to every single temple each week.  This tradition is different from the Chinese/Vietnamese celebrating.  For this New Year celebration, we would attend a Buddhist ritual (giving alms for good merit & listening to the monks meditate) and shop around the temple grounds for authentic "home" food.  There are so many vendors to satisfy our taste buds - from sweet, to sour, to salty, to fire hot & spicy.  The day is not complete without live entertainment of classical folk dances and musical performances, loud music that I seem to be mesmerizing to my darling boy.   If we were back in Laos or Thailand, we would get soaked with water from well-wishers.  Instead, we would gather around the head monk to receive some sprinkle blessed water on us.  Now, the kids don't receive red envelops full of money nor do we get to gather at home to feast on food; however,  having the opportunity to spend the day with your family and seeing old friends and making new friends is great too.  

Lastly, the new year which fall on the 1st of January.  Traditionally, we would gather with friends and family the night before to help celebrate the upcoming New Year.  We say good-bye to the past and hope for the best for the future.  This too is great because we get to share with folks who have touched our lives and have such a profound impact on us.  We are reminded of why we are grateful to have them and we are made humbled to be able to spend this day with them.  What I love about this day is to being able to give hugs and kisses to those who undoubtedly have made my life truly complete.

Day 5 of 2012: stumped on a new year resolution

I know that making a new year resolution is an annual ritual aimed at keeping me in-line or on course, if there is such a thing.  While going through the process of figuring out what was accomplished in 2011 and in years past, I would be remiss if I don't acknowledge that by the hands of my dear Heavenly Father, I am made to stand tall. 

Not that I'm bragging or boisterously flaunting my greatest blessings (my family), but I do thank God everyday for giving me this opportunity to share my joy with my family and friends.  On this note, it's been so many years since I've made a new year resolution.  Not because I feel that I'm lacking something, but because I've always felt His constance love and guidance, that I'm assured that things will just work out by His Grace. 

Since I know that my prayers are always heard but at times may take awhile to be answered, I'm making a list so that I would be reminded that all good things come...all good things come with hope and faith.

*Great heath for my family, especially for Ethan to continue to grow healthy and strong,
*Great love for my friends, especially those who are true and dear to my heart,
*Great happiness for my family and my friends, especially when they are the reason for my happiness,
*Great wealth and prosperity to all my love, especially those who are so deserving,


HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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A vision of love

  

Four years ago today, my baby boy graced us with his presence.  What a perfect gift that I've been praying for for as long as I could remember.  More to come but for now...I just want to embrace this day.  Happy Birthday My Darling Ethan!

Unequivocally special

In the words of my mother, "bo thong aang", this translates to don’t brag.  In the words of my mother-in-law, "ruk kun tharot bai", which translates to love one another forever.  Within the context of these words, I know how to measure true happiness in my life.  Although I don't think that I'm bragging when I talk about my family, but what can I say when I feel so truly blessed?  Am I too strange to think that we are special?

 My mother has taught me that if you are doing a good deed, you don't have to brag about it.  She said that "hit dee, dai dee", this translates to doing good and you will receive good.  She said that even if others don't see the good that you are doing, all that matters is that you know yourself.  In all the years that my mother has done good, she’s never had to announce to the world of what she's done.  She never had to preach to others to follow her footsteps, but for me, I was fortunate enough to see all of the sacrifices that she's made.  Now, I'm not saying that she's a saint...I know that we all have room for improvements and thank God that we still have a chance to do so.  What I’ve passed on to my children is for them to just do good even if you don’t receive good.  I never want my children to expect anything in return when they give from their heart…not even praises from others.  I’m teaching my children that the worst thing in the world is to feel obligated to do something rather than just doing something because they want or love to do.  

As for my mother-in-law, what an amazing lady she is.  She has taught me that no matter what is going on around me, as long as I have love or that I share my love with my children and my husband, then all will be fine.  She said that nothing is worth my dignity so she said to always be honest.  What I’ve gained from her is that I don’t have to pretend, in my words nor my actions.   She said that being a good mother, the rewards is in seeing pure happiness in my children’s eyes. With this lesson, I’m able to pass along to my children that happiness is being true to oneself.  I am teaching them that they must have passion and convictions.  At times, it will be difficult to stand alone but knowing that they did not compromise their self-worth, they can still keep their heads held high.   

True happiness is knowing your own worth without an entourage.  Pure happiness is seeing how my children are to one another.  True love is being able to look yourself in the mirror and unequivocally thank God that you are who you are.

Getting Old

I know I’m getting old …

1. When my daughter told me that I was swerving too many times to the right while driving
2. When my daughter doesn’t want ME to drive HER to school
3. When my daughter said that the eighties’ music are great classic oldies
4. When my son have to hold my face with both hands while talking to me ~ like this is going to help me understand him better
5. When my heart skipped a beat when my son jumps from the couch & did a tuck & roll
6. When my son takes my hand & showed me how to dance his animal dance
7. When my husband asked if I would like to treat myself to a push-up bra from Victoria Secrets ~ when these girls fall below my belly button, I would need to reconsider
8. When my eyes can’t stay open past 9:00 PM
9. When preferring flats over three inch heals to a formal outing
10. When my body aches from just sitting
11. When I’m up by the crack of dawn & being exuberant (banging pots & pans like my mother used to do while I was trying to get some sleep) 

I'm so grateful that I'm still young enough to appreciate the awe inspiring beauty that surrounds us!

♥ Fall in love ♥

Don't let precious moments be too far in between...make it count every second.   Daddy surprised Ethan by showing up at the bus stop...it was great walking home with these boys!