Long reflection but thank goodness that I had to stop

When I started this blog, my intention was to write about my thoughts & feelings & the experiences & the lessons that I’ve learned & the hope that I want to pass onto my children.  What I wanted most was for my children to read my stories in order for them to get to know me for being more than just their mother.  So today, I’m going to begin my blog by addressing some of them… 

My dearest Marisa and Ethan,

 

It’s Monday morning on the 4^th of June.  I’m feeling a bit somber right after such a perfect weekend & right after turning a “year” older.  I know that when I was young (say in the teens), I couldn’t wait for my birthday to come around.  Not that it was celebrated with a huge shebang but because in my mind, it was having the thought that I would be able to have more freedom & would have the opportunity to live my life.  Yes, when you are in your teens, you just can’t wait for the whole enchilada (especially the part of living your own life & being in control).  So Marisa, mommy understands perfectly well how you are feeling.  I’m old but not too ancient to still remember what it was like to be forever young.  Mommy understands first crush, first love, first kiss, first dance, first job, first heartbreak, first disappointment, first accomplishment, and first of everything!  My sweethearts, just don’t be afraid to try everything first.

After having so many birthdays, I now just want time to stand still.  I don’t want one single millisecond to pass me by.  I LOVE my life & it’s all because of you two & your daddy.  Yes, there are so many twists & turns in life; however, having you both in mine is my greatest blessing!  LOVE your life & don’t be afraid to make choices my darlings.  Make every seconds count because you guys will be mommy’s age sooner than you all think.

My birthday weekend started off with attending Ethan’s “graduation” party.  Although it was not his graduation, Marisa made it even more special for Ethan & me by attending this party.  It was so adorable watching how proud Ethan was to show off his classroom.  I can’t believe that my little baby is becoming such a big boy.  See how time flies?  

On Saturday, I was pretty excited to finally be able to attend a meeting at the Leesburg ARC on “IEP – Individualized Education Program”.  I was looking forward to learning from other parents about their experiences, progresses, processes & goals that they’ve established for their child (children).  Remember a few months ago how mommy was going crazy in trying to work on Ethan’s IEP?   Yes, finally, I thought that I could go & learn about something really great!  

Unfortunate for me, when I spoke with daddy while driving to Leesburg, he said that the decals on the license plate had expired.   What the heck?  We’ve been driving around with an expired tag for over two months!  Note to self and to my babies; don’t forget to be on top of deadlines & expiration dates & anything else that’s important.  In addition, be flexible & understand your priorities!  Daddy wasn’t quite clear of where I had to go…he said something about going to the County’s office, DMV, inspections, etc.  Thank goodness that when I dropped off some clothes for donation at the Salvation Army, that I asked folks there about where to get these decals.   I spent a good half of my Saturday morning standing in line at the DMV.  Another lesson ~ don’t be afraid to ask questions!  I guess I should be thankful for the opportunity to learn the differences between decals (registration, personal property tax and emission & safety inspection) for our car.

It was a good thing that mommy was out & about since nine o’clock in the morning.  The weather was perfect ~ light breeze & the sun was beaming through the clouds & trees, making mommy’s drive truly enjoyable.  I love you both to pieces but it was pure joy to just have a moment to myself.  I was able to drive with the windows down & the sunroof open & listen to my kind of music.  Yes, to also sing with compassion to the songs that I knew the lyrics to that both you and Ethan are now appreciating (LOL “laugh out loud” ~ the 80’s music presented on Glee has helped bridged this gap).  I drove without a care in the world & a dumbfounded smile on my face (Marisa, you can laugh now since the word “dumbfounded” did actually came out of your dad’s mouth ~ our secret joke).  I was jamming to songs that brought fond memories of my childhood, THIS feeling, was the kind of feeling that I want you and Ethan to have…something that brings warmth to you heart & smiles to your faces & makes you glad that you’ve survived your most difficult times!

It was so great to return home with Ethan all set & ready.  Marisa, you are such a great sister & you are an enormous help to mommy.  We spent the rest of Saturday at a picnic, at the Town of Herndon’s annual festival (I was craving a funnel cake), a special treat at Sweet Frog (Ethan’s favorite), and ended up at the South Riding’s annual festival for the firework display. 

 

 I could go on and on about the day but this blog is getting to be too long.  I will have to post something later about these events & my birthday on Sunday but for now, I want to finish off with this past Saturday, June 2.

Received a massage from daddy, which was really sweet.  Marisa, do you remember what daddy has told you? He said that to keep mommy guessing, he has never wanted to “spoil” mommy by giving mommy something that is expected.  He likes being spontaneous & doing things out of the ordinary.   I guess I understand his logic because at times, I too feel the same way.  When you hear things repetitively or receive things expectedly, those senses of sincerity or value just become so mundane.   And by all mean, you know that your daddy is not a typical or common character.  He is special & truly one of a kind!  Oh gosh my baby girl, my wish for you is to be blessed with a man who makes your heart skip a thousand beats when you think of him.  The one who makes you laugh with his nonsense & makes you smile when you look at him.  The one who makes you giddy by hearing the sound of his voice & the one who makes you blush when he takes care of your children.  I hope that this man, who is lucky enough to have your heart, can also keep your feet on the ground but also value you as his equal.  This lucky man should be strong enough to wipe your tears & gently enough to hold you in his arms to make everything else disappear.  This ideal man should not be afraid to ruffle your feathers by NOT agreeing with you 100% but diplomatic enough to not make you feel that you are NOT wrong.  I hope that this man will be for you as daddy have been for mommy…the greatest friend, your best friend.