Extraordinary Gift of Motherhood

 

 Extraordinary Privilege posted on May 19, 2011.  Not only has it been an extraordinary privilege, but it's been an extraordinary blessing to be their mother.  It hasn’t been easy but nothing worth having ever come easy.  

My husband said that I am a great mother…if you know my husband, he’s not a man with many flowery words but coming from him, it’s definitely a huge compliment.  What he meant was that he knows how much I love our children & that I would do the very best for them.  I told him that he too was a wonderful father…yes, we were in one of those mood.  Every now and then, I just love to take a step back to just savor each precious moment & reflect on our accomplishments.  No, our accomplishments are our children.  They are our reflection of the love & dedication that both my husband and I have promised one another…seeing how much our children treasure one another only makes our hearts even more content (if one can be more than just content). 

Being a mother is a gift that most women take for granted.  I am so thankful that I was given this opportunity…to learn, to grow, to love, and to get as close to heaven as possible on earth.  I don’t want to sound like a broken record or that it’s a cliché; however, without some of the extraordinary women in my life, I would not have known what was best “to do or not to do” as a mother. 

Having a daughter

Oh how much I just LOVE having the opportunities to do mother-daughter stuff.  

I remember that in years passed, someone was so adamant about NOT wanting to have a daughter.   That person who insisted that hell would freeze over if she was to have a girl (she was quite blunt about her disgust of how I had spoiled MY daughter).  I don’t know if knowing that her own mother did not want to have another child (her) was the root of her fear (I’m not a psychologist).   Or that she was not ready to be a parent herself but the choices that she had made put her in that situation.  

All that I remember was that one of her reason of NOT wanting a daughter was because she felt that my husband and I spoiled our precious baby girl.  Imagine that?  Parents spoiling their child, be it a girl or a boy!  At that time, my daughter was about two but I paid her no mind to that negative vibe.  Maybe she did not feel that she was blessed enough to be given the privilege of being a mother to a daughter.  Unlike me, she may have never had that struggle of conceiving.  Unlike me, she was blatant of her hatred towards my relationship with my daughter.  Unlike me, I prayed for so many years for a child to love.  

My husband and I were over the moon when we found out that we were expecting.  Anyhow, I prayed for that person to be blessed with one of her own so that she may have a change of heart.  My husband had already warned me that others would never see the goodness in someone else IF they don’t have that goodness in them.  I guess I’m more hopeful that others would appreciate the gift of a daughter’s unconditional love once they’ve gotten the opportunity.

For me, growing up without having my mother’s involvement with trivial “teenager” stuff like my first crush, my first love, shopping for a homecoming dress, a prom dress, making decisions about what classes to take in high school, making decisions about religion, or choosing what college to attend…makes it even more important for me to do this with my daughter.  I’m not faulting my mother for not having the opportunity to share my life’s growing pains but I am thankful because through these experiences, it has made me who I am as a mother (or how I want to be as a mother).

Next blog…I will post my daughter’s prom dresses.  Yes, we went crazy shopping and I gave her three choices to choose from…all of the dresses were just perfect; however, I can’t wait until she finally decides on which one to wear!

Unequivocally special

In the words of my mother, "bo thong aang", this translates to don’t brag.  In the words of my mother-in-law, "ruk kun tharot bai", which translates to love one another forever.  Within the context of these words, I know how to measure true happiness in my life.  Although I don't think that I'm bragging when I talk about my family, but what can I say when I feel so truly blessed?  Am I too strange to think that we are special?

 My mother has taught me that if you are doing a good deed, you don't have to brag about it.  She said that "hit dee, dai dee", this translates to doing good and you will receive good.  She said that even if others don't see the good that you are doing, all that matters is that you know yourself.  In all the years that my mother has done good, she’s never had to announce to the world of what she's done.  She never had to preach to others to follow her footsteps, but for me, I was fortunate enough to see all of the sacrifices that she's made.  Now, I'm not saying that she's a saint...I know that we all have room for improvements and thank God that we still have a chance to do so.  What I’ve passed on to my children is for them to just do good even if you don’t receive good.  I never want my children to expect anything in return when they give from their heart…not even praises from others.  I’m teaching my children that the worst thing in the world is to feel obligated to do something rather than just doing something because they want or love to do.  

As for my mother-in-law, what an amazing lady she is.  She has taught me that no matter what is going on around me, as long as I have love or that I share my love with my children and my husband, then all will be fine.  She said that nothing is worth my dignity so she said to always be honest.  What I’ve gained from her is that I don’t have to pretend, in my words nor my actions.   She said that being a good mother, the rewards is in seeing pure happiness in my children’s eyes. With this lesson, I’m able to pass along to my children that happiness is being true to oneself.  I am teaching them that they must have passion and convictions.  At times, it will be difficult to stand alone but knowing that they did not compromise their self-worth, they can still keep their heads held high.   

True happiness is knowing your own worth without an entourage.  Pure happiness is seeing how my children are to one another.  True love is being able to look yourself in the mirror and unequivocally thank God that you are who you are.