Just Exhale....

My heart is filled with joy as well as sadness.  A sign that our summer is coming to an end...today, Ethan and I walked through the front doors of his school.  I knew that this day would come especially when we've been preparing Ethan's backpacks with all of his school supplies.  As I walked along side my buddy, I wondered what was on his mind.  Was he as excited and scared as I was for another year of school?  Was he going to miss me as must as I was going to miss him?  Was he going to stay healthy enough to stay in school for more than sixty days?  Was he going to like his new teachers and new classmates?  Have I taught Ethan enough during the summer that he would be well adjusted for school?  Was I too easy on Ethan when trying to get him potty trained?  Was Ethan aware that he will spread his wings?  Have I given Ethan all of the tools to succeed?   I want Ethan to have all of the opportunities to be happy but I hate having to miss every second in his life.

I was dreading the part where my baby would get so sick that he would have to stay home for months at a time.  I was dreading that I would miss him so desperately.  With the same breath, I was full of hope that Ethan would have the chance to grow and take the world in his hands.  As I stared at Ethan waltzing through the familiar hallway, I noticed the sparkles in his eyes and his gleaming smile on his face.  I knew that he was going to be okay.  Ethan did his little twirl as he got closer to his classroom.  He stopped to give hugs to most of the teachers.  He waved good-bye to them as he walked closer to his homeroom.  He continued towards his old class but when I stopped him mid-way, he was not a happy camper.  He was determined to walk towards his old class but fortunate for me, he was familiar enough with his new teachers' helper that he allowed her to walk him into his new class.  Ethan eased into the room and made himself at home.  I was told that there are three boys in Ethan's class...Ethan plus two other boys.  I was pretty happy that he'll have girls in his class but when the teacher said that that was all the students that she had assigned to her...I didn't know if I should have been happy that this was a really small class!  Well, it was only an orientation…I hope that Ethan’s class will be small so that he will have more of a one-on-one opportunity with his teacher and her assistant.