My mother did not have a privileged life but she made do with what she had. My mother said that she wasn't much of a student but more of a laborer. My mother was prideful when she told me stories about being strong mouth when she was a young girl. She said that she was a tomboy who did not care what others were thinking. She said that what ever was on her mind, it would come out of her mouth. WOW...what a difference time make because my mother seems more reserved. In recent years, my mother seems more timid, very passive and less passionate about causes. It's hard for me to imagine that she’s lost that fire inside of her to fight or to stand up for what she believes in. I guess with time, one learns to differentiate what's most important to fight for and what's trivial and not worth ones time or energy. My mother told me once that she’s too old now to say much. She said that all that she wants to do now is step back and enjoy the show. WISDOM comes with age and this is what I’m striving to gain as I grow older.
Marisa has written two stories about my mother’s life that were pretty impressive. Just the thought that my daughter had listened to the stories that I’ve told and that my mother has told makes me really happy! I'm glad that Marisa still has opportunities to learn about our family's history directly from her grandmother. Yes, my mother had a really rough life and although she may have not been in a situation where she had any options, I’m grateful that she had chosen to continue to endure. When I became a mother and seeing how at times that my mother was a victim of her circumstances, I wanted to teach my children that they don’t have to accept what life has given to them. I want my children to know that we will always have choices and that they don’t have to go through life alone.
Every lesson that my mother has taught me, I find myself teaching to my daughter. One main lesson is of hard work. My mother puts 110% into everything that she does. She is a hard worker, dedicated to accomplishing every goal, and determined to do everything on her own. Another lesson is patience. My mother would always say to “otte ow” in every situations (which translates to wait first). What I’m doing with this lesson is to teach my children to only wait for certain circumstances. Sometimes it may be necessary to go after things rather than waiting around for things to happen. At times, good things may only come to those who strive for them. Another situation that I am teaching my children is to NOT wait when situations put them in harms way. I want my children to be safe, loved and happy.
My mother-in-law is a strong woman who raised her children without a man by her side. She is kind, smart, very business oriented, cautious, and truly resourceful. She doesn’t hesitate to help and have always been able to find solutions to any situation. Not only is she prideful, she is also a great example for me to emulate. My mother-in-law has taught me that it’s okay for me to stand my ground when it is a right thing to do. She said that I don’t need to conform to what others are doing since doing what is right will only make me happy in the long run. My mother-in-law doesn’t believe in taking sides, she figures that eventually, things will work out between the two parties and that being neutral puts you in a better situation. My mother-in-law believes that in order to attain happiness in life, one must do good deeds. I know that this character trait is great to possess, but I’m teaching my children to first make certain that they are happy before trying to make others happy.
My mother-in-law is a great cook. I’ve been trying to get her to let me watch how she cooks so that her recipe will continue on with our family but she’s not too thrilled to have me in the kitchen while she’s cooking. I’ve been told that a great chef rarely likes to have too many hands in the pot! My mother doesn’t like to have too many people in the kitchen while she’s cooking too. There are so many things that I want to learn from my mother-in-law; however, I would settle for learning how to make all of her secret sauces for everything, her Thai deserts, her Poh Loh “pork & eggs soup”, and her sweet & sour beef with tendon soup. Same thing with my mother, I want to learn how to make Sen Kow Wan “sweet stir-fried pork”, her Mee Kla Teh “curry noodle soup”, and her Catalina Chicken (something that she created when we lived in Montana).
Both mothers believe in doing good for others…I don’t know if this is an Asian thing but they both feel this sense of service. Don’t take it the wrong way; I think that being able to help others is something that we all should strive to do. I’m teaching my children that they must first love themselves before giving love to others. I never wanted my children to feel that they are less important than others. I want them to feel empowered and to feel loved. I’m thankful that these two amazing ladies have instilled in me these characteristics that I’m able to teach my children. One main thing that I’ve learned about my mother-in-law and my mother is that they are both so humble. They don’t want to be praised nor do they want us to shower them with all the riches on this world. They both just want to be included, involved or thought of. They don’t ask for money, they don’t ask for anything but…just want to be remembered. One thing for sure, I’m grateful to them. So my dearest mothers, thank-you so dearly for my life’s lessons.
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